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Chrono's Greatest S Hit # 4


dave_kinky
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Chrono's Greatest S Hit # 4

 

Doing my usual blitzkrieg on the Chrono part of my brain I came across this fantastic selection of unanswered questions from 'trollface' from almost 2 years ago. I interrogated the pathetic twitching Chrono-cortex in my own head and discovered that far from answering most of these questions our dear brother Chrono had either avoided them, deflected interest away from them or, at worst, sulked like a child who isn't allowed to blow a Skaaran's face off with a ray-gun. Now its not all bad news, we were literally days or weeks away from the infamous 'muscle tree' debacle and scant ponderous moments from revelations about 27th century bottom washing jets. So. Here they are again, Chrono's Greatest Hits # 4 (the 'new' answers from Chrono start thus >>>) :

 

So the ship has three engines, one at the back, and one on each side?

 

>>> yes. Maybe they are built in a spaceport. Quite why they'd need to bother if its for spacefaring I don't know. Maybe its a Cake freighter? Galacticakes Inc operating out of Saturn. Or lets face it, the ship was probably built to deep penetrate Uranus.

 

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Wouldn't that mean that it would turn if you, say, crossed from one side of the ship to the other?

 

>>> Chrono's physics doesn't work like what 21st century physics does. Duh!

 

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Why don't you define what you mean by "cryogenics", then?

 

>>> Freezing people! Duh!

 

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Also, with the seas receeding 15 miles, what has happened to the reefs and other near-shore ecosystems, which can be up to 10,000 years old?

 

>>> Them all dead.

 

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Why don't you explain how [electricity] works as you understand it?

 

>>> Run hand across sensor, LIGHT! Is magic!!

 

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[...]why do you not seem to care how comprehensible you make yourself?

 

>>> Chrono GOOOOOOOD

 

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There's an academic called Donkel who has edited a book about philosophy, but there is certainly no Communistic school of thought or belief by that name. Care to explain?

 

>>> Happens 150 years from now (Chrono fact!) Clever Chrono.

 

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But you said that you did know how you managed to circumvent the laws of physics. Now you say you don't?

 

>>> Oh, Britney's available on the 3D Web. Mmmmm.

 

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Yeah, just the basic, well-established, easily proven fundamental truths of how the universe works are wrong. it's just the little things like what electricity is and how it works, how molecules are composed, as well as matter itself and things like that which are wrong, eh? The fact that they have a knock-on effect to everything else doesn't matter because...what?

 

>>> Chrono say him heap big historian, him not know stuff.

 

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Why don't you tell me which scientific theories of the moment are wrong and which are right?

 

>>> Head hurts

 

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How do you keep the larger icecaps frozen?

 

>>> BIG Fridges

 

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How do you manage this process without making the global temperature actually rise?

 

>>> Head hurts again, maybe by big tube pump air into space made by Lizard Men

 

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And you're not going to tell me that it didn't because the First Law Of Thermodynamics is wrong, too, are you?

 

>>> Erm YEAH

 

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[You can extend the half-life of an element] the same way as what?

 

>>> A muscle tree's muscle

 

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So why did you need to deal with an ice-age? Was it a warm ice-age?

 

>>> Yeah, they're the best ones

 

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Once more, I'm going to ask for the name of this philosophy under which your society operates[...]

 

>>> Zimbiolism

 

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What you have to answer is what you do to it on the atomic level? How do you extend it's half-life?

 

>>> You do....stuff and it just extends. Chrono have little sleep now.

 

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If that wasn't true, as you claim it isn't, then splitting the atom would be impossible.[Not technically a question, but it demands an answer all the same]

 

>>> zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

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Any excuse for the other two questions?

 

>>> Chrono wake up now!

 

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[...]if the new "speed" is called "light speed", then what do they call light speed?

 

>>> The artist formerly known as light speed

 

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[...]why didn't they just call the new "light speed" by the new name that the old "light speed" has?

 

>>> You mean....ZAP Speed?? People would get confused.

 

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[...]isn't it stupid to have the speed of light called something else and somethign else called "light speed"?

 

>>> Nah, we got Galacticake Inc 'Cakes from the Earth to the Galactic Colonies' and they don't call their donuts DONUTS either

 

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[...]how come there have been huge nuclear reactions many times as fierce and hot as the sun in the moon and nobody on Earth has noticed?

 

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>>> Probably writing Bibles or something when it happened, or blinked

 

How come that this element formed naturally on a dead and chemically simple satellite when not even a Supernova is explosive and complex enough to form such an element?

 

>>> Head hurts again

 

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You will need to explain how [Einstein] was wrong, what is right, who sucessfully proved him wrong and when, and what on Earth has been up with all the experiments that have been done over the years which have proven him right time and again?

 

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>>> Ouch. Corky Primecut proved him wrong on satellite Jarvis 12 in 2205 (same year time machines available in shops)

 

[...]you can tell me what the new equasion [that replaced "E=mc^2] is and what any and all of the elements that are new signify.

 

>>> Ch = rono (BS)

 

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Which speed of light are we talking about now, the new one or the old one? [i'll add a second question to this actually. If we're talking about the new "speed of light", then what is the significance of that speed, and what would be significant about travelling at that speed that would relate to time travel?]

 

>>> The speed of ZAP, see, knew that one!

 

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How come speed is measured in seconds, now?

 

>>> Or grammes

 

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Do you mean that no matter how much faster than the speed of light you're travelling and no matter the distance you always go ahead in time 33 seconds? How does that work?

 

>>> I don't know, but it does!

 

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Would that be covered by the new theory of relativity?

 

>>> Chrono being neuro whipped by tiny robots now, ouch! oof! OW!!

 

 

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