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dave_kinky
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that a free sample of Lizardan mammary juice is no substitute for the Kate Winslet bot. Can you please get John Titor TM to fix the things he breaks ?

I was in THE FUTURE TM with Kinky when this appliance was damaged, and so I will post now, at least one day before Kinky corrects you, to premind everyone that it was Creedo who damaged the Winsletbot, not The Real John Titor TM. For all his faults as a flunky time traveler, The Real John Titor TM is NOT a sexual deviant... at least not yet.

 

Might as well answer a few more questions coming up:

 

1) Yes.

 

2) No.

 

3) Only when he has fleas.

 

4) Not for all the timecake in the known universe.

 

5) Muscle trees.

 

6) You could be a little more polite to a dashing time traveling scalawag from THE FUTURE TM.

 

RMT

 

 

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I think it is time for me to reveal;

 

Titor is a fake. I know this for a fact and have this on good authority from Chronohistorian (yes i still keep a transdimensional radio(TradeMark) he send me in the Mail.

 

It appears that before chronohistorian (the last historian of 2575) single-handedly won the galactic warTM by slaying the last Lizarian, The school children of time year 2575 A.D. Who were sent to replace him (despite him being the only genius that passed the training to take his original assignment) were playing a practical joke on us primitive earthlings.

 

There is a saying in 2575, 'All beings in 21st century are moronic and easily fooled'. I guess they were testing it out. I have heard a rumour that the time guard on duty that day had fallen asleep. I didnt believe this at first. Until chrono informed me that people of the future did not know how to lie. I think you will agree that there is no way, for that very reason, that his information can be wrong.

 

He also maintains regular contact with me over Xbox Live. I once asked him how he managed to link in to 2009 to play on Halo 3 so often. He always signs out at that point, saying something about 'time storms' disrupting the delicate time cords that hold our two realities in place.

 

He also said that details of the Transdimensional radio TM will soon be made available at the Future Horizons Website.

 

Detailed schematics will sell for the bargin basement price of $1500.98 And a fully working model, which main components include a thin piece of copper, 5 cm of 12 gauge copper wire and a rubberband (Quartz crystal sold seperate) will retail for a frankly remarkable price £5000.95 (excl shipping). Stock probably won't last long - so reserve early to avoid depression.

 

I Once asked him, if he would ever return. He said "not for all the timecake in the known universe"...

 

....

 

...hang on RMT...how did u....?!!

 

 

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Well, you tell me where else on the internet you can find a thin piece of copper, glued to 5cms of 12g copper wire with a caduceus wound rubberband stuck to the bottom for UNDER $5000.

 

Not only that but one that can communicate with chronohistorian, who is based in 2575.

 

(please note: this is a 'research' device and subsequently may not do what it claims. Future Horizons may not be held liable for 'non working' Items)

 

 

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I was in THE FUTURE TM with Kinky when this appliance was damaged, and so I will post now, at least one day before Kinky corrects you, to premind everyone that it was Creedo who damaged the Winsletbot, not The Real John Titor TM. For all his faults as a flunky time traveler, The Real John Titor TM is NOT a sexual deviant... at least not yet.

So let me get this straight :-

 

1) Did Creedo have the correct Hypophenic Transvariance batteries installed in the bot ?

 

2) Was Creedo using the Winslet bot as prescribed in Space Corps directive 23075-A ?

 

3) Does Creedo always end up trashing bots when he uses them ?

 

4) Can Creedo cope with the seductive charms of the 15 orificed Lizardans ?

 

5) What's Creedo putting whipped cream on in that pic that I saw ?

 

6) Surely an engineer like yourself could easily fix the Techtractian Induction Phaseducer in the bot and then I can....er..test it to see if it works.

 

 

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Apologies for the lack of input, I got bored of this post two weeks ago back in THE FUTURE TM.

 

Sad news on the Winsletbot front as well, Creedo299 got hold of 'her' again after slipping his manacles during a particularly violent sunstorm and managed to rear-mount her with at least 16 of his tentacles. She has now been scrapped, BUT myself and THE REAL JOHN TITOR TM have been out and purchased a set of MINTOVA TRIPLETS, the delicious sex queens of the late 22nd century and are looking forward to servicing their collective 54 orifices just as soon as we've purchased enough lubricants.

 

Creedo299 is fully locked away from the light from the time being and we have reinforced his kennel. Zeshua has moulted again so we'll need to de-scale her within the next month or so. oh and little Ethan Titor has grown his third eye!

 

Exciting times in THE FUTURE TM at Titor Towers I think you'll agree.

 

Finally on the subject of future posts, in a couple of months time there's a new 'time traveller' on these boards who's preposterous time travel claims are so amusing you'll blow your soda pop thru your nose and your rectum may prolapse! I won't mention any names but the first person who realises who I'm talking about needs to post the words KINKY PROLAPSE straight after their ass-biting cliche ridden doomsday scenario 'ask me a question' nonsense* and I'll tell you if you've guessed correctly!

 

*They're WORSE than Chronohistorian

 

As ever, your humble servant

 

 

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