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Sorry for the wait, many suicide attempts and visits to the crazy house left me drugged, still bothered and pretty incapable of coherent thought. Doesn't mean I forgot you all. I simply was and still am incapable of dealing with the loss of my wife.


Death effects people differently....as I have come to find out.


I see many of you are still posting, and in fact messaging me while I was gone.


I apologize for the time away.


Did we loose RMT while I was gone? I know Pam took a hiatus. Ruthless was of course always there. And I see HDR got his own site (thank god)


There are so many more that tried to support me when It happened.






I worked for three years, but was unable to take the drugs that my psych said to take, because I was doing the crane work, dangerous and unstable is what I became, good money, bad for me.


I saw that Mad cow disease came back in the NEWS....which reminded me of you all.


As silly as that sounds...:)


Of course the Olympics again...:)


amongst other things.


As for myself I am doing better than I have for a number of years,would you all believe, that my house STILL has not been foreclosed on, nor has the case with Anna's death been decided. That happens January NEXT year. FOUR YEARS, from the time she was hit.


I really have no-one else to speak to of these things on the net, so regardless of who remembers me, I decided to post my feelings and observations and trials and tribulations here.


I know I wouldn't be forgotten or run off here. I felt comfortable and learned many things here I would not have learned anywhere else,Thank you RMT.


Now that I have time off I will try to get back with you all and hope my frame of mind keeps me a little more controlled, It has been one hell of a journey.


My son gets married tomorrow, which is probably the best thing to happen to me in the last three and a half years,I have tux and ready to get on with things, I think.


Had three different relationships, which all fell apart, longest lasting a year and a half.


Its just not the same, I think many of you would understand.


None the less I will probably be stopping by more often, remember though, I was online when she died.


I have tried once or twice to come back but it was simply too painful.


I think I have it all "compartmentalized" as it were.


Time to reopen my mind and get back to where my interests carried me... Lets see how it goes.





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