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My absence - grieving


PaulaJedi
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Apologies for not being very active.  A rabbit I loved tremendously died and I am heavily grieving, going through the stages of grief over and over again.  I have the curse of possessing an extreme love of animals (I even love an alligator), and it is bittersweet because they bring joy, but when they are gone, it is the worse pain anyone could experience.  Even right now, I'm starting to tear up.  I don't know when the pain will go away.  I've experienced it before, so I know it can take a while.  I think it took me a week to stop crying about a cat that died, but even then, if I think about them, I tear up.  I cannot explain how or why I love them so deeply.  I also don't know why God gave this feature to me. 

Q's partner, Stormy, is now alone and grieving.  We are told to get her a new partner ASAP, so we may be checking out a cute, white boy (rabbit...that sounds bad! LOL) tomorrow.  I'm not really ready, but it is for Stormy, not me.  Stormy is more cuddly than usual because she was used to being groomed by Q all the time.  They did everything together.  So.... she needs a partner.  It would not be humane to not let her have one.

Anyway, I'm trying to take time to do the things I normally do, but I am not finding any joy in my usual activities, yet.  I usually clean a lot in an effort to keep my mind off it, but then something triggers a memory and the waterfall comes out.

Patience, please. I'll be back.

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Slowly getting better. Making progress, but my 14 year old daughter is taking it hard.  I'm hoping school will help her forget her sorrows.  If not, I will seek out a school counselor.  She and I are spending a lot of time together.  I told her to come to me when she feels sad and she is.  I'm happy she trusts me.  She's a dream teenager. ? Love my kids.  

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15 hours ago, PaulaJedi said:

Slowly getting better. Making progress, but my 14 year old daughter is taking it hard.  I'm hoping school will help her forget her sorrows.  If not, I will seek out a school counselor.  She and I are spending a lot of time together.  I told her to come to me when she feels sad and she is.  I'm happy she trusts me.  She's a dream teenager. ? Love my kids.  

My 13yo girl is a nightmare. I would think bipolar if I didn't know she was 13. Mean to everyone. She decided not to talk to me for about a year, I was upset at first, then realized she was torturing everyone else, and I think it was actually a blessing. She thought she was hurting me, and she was until I realized I had dodged a bullet! Girls that age can be savage to each other. Be very thankful yours is such a sweetheart, because mine is possessed by something. Seriously considering an exorcism,  but it's just estrogen!!

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Yes, I was going to say hormones.  Fortunately, when she is moody, she just hides for a few hours.  I am seriously lucky because I think I was also possessed when I was a teen and I gave my parents hell. LOL.

I am doing better. Mild depression, less anxiety.  

We got a new bunny so Stormy would not be alone. I think I am going to make a pet club here (see under Dimensions) but I have to gather my pet photos or post from my phone.  (I am very upset my iPad is broken beyond repair). 

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